sometimes

sometimes i have the feeling that we are totally blind, we cannot stop rushing somewhere and stay peacefully calmly watching the moment, which will passed away in few seconds and which was in a way special...

maybe just the light is weird, the rain is beautifully falling down from the roof the light is behind it and you can see every single drop dancing in a beautiful chain and then you just want to run out, and dance with the drops, fly and fall down and feel free....

but who really does this, who is gonna really go out to the rain?and when someone do, why the others just ask questions like "do you have enough clothes with you?"

why they cannot feel the poetry of the moment and enjoy it fully??? just go and do something...

SOMETHING...

when all of our cells seems to vibrate by insanity of non-sense acting for a moment

but then always some the end,

the emptiness, which actually never left, this small creature is still with you...

so you are always alone, alone with yourself...

talking to the people...

but alone

laughing with someone

but alone...

the creature is sometimes sleeping, then you feel the connections, they you feel fine, as a part of the society, having friends, having understanding for others....

you know, some time ago i found some citation ... "I am looking into eyes of others in order to see myself" ...and it bring me though that we define ourselves through the others, what they think, what our parents tought us, what they did, and all the people around...

we define ourselves against them...we compare all the time, being me is sometimes loosing the meaning when I am alone...

I cannot say what exactly I am...

there are things which i do, i like them...but i dont remember anymore why...

i love bublemakes...but since when?

and why?

i love this and that....but..

i usually say typical comment...i have mine sentences you have yours...

but why?

is there any sense in that or it is just completely random bunch of stuff which all of us have as a habits? it is probably just

RIN

RANDOM INSANE NON-SENSE

sometimes i feel like words does not have any sense, when i am saying bread i could say butter insted and it would be the same..

sometimes i feel like just trying to fullfilling the emptiness with anything what is around

sometimes i feel like talking just because I am afraid of being quiet, because while i speak the creature of loneliness is quiet so I fill my life with millions words, thousands sentences and hundreds of stories, but sometimes I have to stop myself in the middle of the joke and ask why I am telling this to the creatures around? this jumping into the non-sense discussions is like jumping into the swimming pool without any water, you might like the flight but then the point of reaching the emptiness of the pool comes and you meet the ground in the form of question.

WHY?